Nope, Not Anymore

‘It’s Friday night,  Maria. You’ve got to follow us out tonight. ‘

‘Maria,  I’m sure you’ll be fine.  It’s only for a drink or two ‘.

Maria looked at her friends with reluctance. She wanted to go. Badly.  But she knew she shouldn’t. It’s been two months since she got out of rehab and the last thing she wanted was to have to return there because of another relapse.

But she wanted to believe that she could actually go out and have a drink without becoming addicted again.  But it was a lie.  And for someone who had gone to rehab more times than she wished to admit,  she knew it too well.

‘Guys,  I don’t know if I can. I don’t….. ‘

‘Really,  Maria? Not even for tonight? ‘

‘You’ll have fun. You know you would. ‘

‘Come on,  get dressed already. We don’t want to be late. The bar’s entrance gets closed at 10.’

Maria bowed her head.  Perhaps she should give in just for today.  After all, she wouldn’t have to drink, would she?  Or maybe she’ll have JUST one drink.

No no no, there’s no way she’s considering this.  She knew exactly what would happen; one drink would lead to another, she’ll get drunk and by tomorrow,  she’ll be drowned in her own shame.  She didn’t want to deal with that. She didn’t want to carry this problem with her.   Not when she finally began making progress.

Besides,  she had promised God-and herself – that she would never go back to that mess.

‘I can’t ‘.

‘But,  Maria-‘

‘No, I just can’t ‘

Carry

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